Wow – when I read this it was clear as a bell, in my mind anyway. She was creating faces, flowers, trees, light. Then she had to rest. I thought for sure that was because it was the 7th day and on the 7th day she rested. Can I keep it this way? Please? I like it like this!
OK, I have to chime in! I loved this piece, but I had a completely different interpretation! I read this as: a girl is trapped in a hospital bed, immobile, on a ventilator. Her only escape is imagining faces and other things in the ceiling tiles. I don't know if this is what you were aiming for, but I thought it was brilliant, though I also love that other folks have such different interpretations.
Thanks, Christine. I wanted to leave it open to interpretation whether she was actually awake and drawing or not. I hadn't thought of the ceiling tiles, but I like that!
I heard a young artist needing to be told to rest. Makes me think of The Red Shoes, the story of the ballerina who can't stop dancing. A cautionary tale and yet it's a celebration of passion.
The tireless painter and the eternal artist. Sigh, I feel that way sometimes, writing long hours into the night. This was well done!
ReplyDeleteLove this one! Your writing paints a lovely picture.
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to stop when you're on a role, creating. Vivid imagery here, very nice.
ReplyDeleteWhat a magnificent vignette.
ReplyDeleteSuperbly poetic, and such a heart-wrenching last line.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteBeautifully suggestive. That's a great end.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kymm. I guess it is kind of suggestive. Now that it's done, the piece is making suggestions to me instead of the other way around. Hmm.
DeleteThis is just lovely, one of the best, if I may say!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind comment.
DeleteVery visual scene. Good work.
ReplyDeleteYou totally get how to write a good story in 42 words. Nice!
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. :)
DeleteI like all the references to creation in your word choices. I'm not sure if Sugar is a child or a SO, but I don't think I care.
ReplyDeleteI imagined a child, but she certainly doesn't have to be.
DeleteWow – when I read this it was clear as a bell, in my mind anyway. She was creating faces, flowers, trees, light.
ReplyDeleteThen she had to rest. I thought for sure that was because it was the 7th day and on the 7th day she rested.
Can I keep it this way? Please? I like it like this!
Yes, of course you can keep it that way. :)
DeleteVivid imagery .Could feel the post coming live before my eyes.
ReplyDeletevery interesting. i like this.
ReplyDeleteOK, I have to chime in! I loved this piece, but I had a completely different interpretation! I read this as: a girl is trapped in a hospital bed, immobile, on a ventilator. Her only escape is imagining faces and other things in the ceiling tiles. I don't know if this is what you were aiming for, but I thought it was brilliant, though I also love that other folks have such different interpretations.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Christine. I wanted to leave it open to interpretation whether she was actually awake and drawing or not. I hadn't thought of the ceiling tiles, but I like that!
DeleteI heard a young artist needing to be told to rest. Makes me think of The Red Shoes, the story of the ballerina who can't stop dancing. A cautionary tale and yet it's a celebration of passion.
ReplyDelete